Wednesday, August 13, 2008

I promise not to talk about the Iraq war while I am on steriods

Here it is!  The moment we have all been waiting for in this drama : the specialist appointment!  Now in this scene, I go to the doctor who is moved by the horrible plight of my "lost summer".  Like the hero that he is, he says "I know just what is wrong and I will make it all go away with my magic prescription pad".  Then i get a new, great pill that makes everything ALL better.  

Of course, someone forgot to send him MY script. You mean I don't control THIS either???  What exactly am I in control of then? (BTW, as an aside, I apparently am not even in control of my own behavior.  Sir prednisone has taken control of that.  I have been saying ALL of these strong angry things that I really don't mean, with curse words even.  I just want you to know, I REALLY DON"T CARE about any of these subjects I have been angry about.  Really.  I have no strong feelings about anything except the specialist appointment and not controlling everything. REALLY.)

Well, the specialist was the star though.  He was like President Bush(I know, its so disappointing, but I told you I don't control everything). We have a new plan of attack along the lines of "operation iraqi freedom"and "the surge".  Its called operation "resolve/evolve".  In this plan of attack we are still sticking with steriods.  STILL.  Like the war in Iraq, it just has a new name.  In case its not clear we are hoping for "resolve" not "evolve".  

So my new mantra is "resolve".  If you say it in a whispery voice it really can be a mantra.  I would like to just go back to believing I control everything, that mantra worked for a really long time.  But I hear I can't go back, so I am EVOLVING to be RESOLVING.  Sorry I couldn't resist.  At least it made ME laugh.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is there a publisher in the house? If not, find one - QUICK! Move over Dave Barry!

Tricia said...

Rock on and Resolve!