One Tenth of a Mile West

The results of our latest poll indicate a clear cut winner in the race to be the next place to host the Coffetank Organization.  By an impressive 77%, voters indicate that they would like to move coffee to John's house upon the possible death of Jacks.  Exit polls (of our poll) indicate that the orange sectional was a huge factor in the people's choice.  "We must protect a woman's right to choose her seating above all other issues.  John's house provides the best variety of seating and we know most women prefer an orange sectional when given the choice" said one source.  Surprisingly, no one considered the quality of the coffee as an issue.  Fox news reports that coffee quality has been overstated by the media as an issue because of the media's liberal bias.  Coffetank is not about the coffee, according to fox news reporter, Bill Hemmer, stating "only Coffee Outsiders think that coffee is about coffee.  The name is misleading.  Inside the beltway, people realize it is really more about the tea."

This runaway win by John's house has led to John once again stockpiling arms at his house to prevent the capture of the orange sectional.  An unnamed source in leopard print shoes was quoted saying "even the hula dancers on Daddy's shirt were shocked by how many guns he was carrying".   This source indicated that reinforcements from Denver have been called in to help defend this national treasure and a gun was mounted on the back of Trish's convertible in case she has to come back from Concord shooting.  

Commentator Campbell Brown opines "John and Trish will either have to move the orange sectional into the kitchen or host coffee in their bedroom.  The will of the populace cannot be denied."  Seemingly, coffeetank appears to be more organized in its efforts to defend the survival of coffee.  As recently as yesterday this reporter spotted Jim Perkins scouting out routes for a possible invasion of 139 Main, while trying to appear as if he was 'just walking home'.  Additionally the notorious coffee addict Alison Angus has limited her trips to Jacks to three a day in order to plan a troop surge in New London.  

In the meantime, peacemaking efforts are being made to keep Jack's open.  New statistics indicate that an initial report of less than 4% profit margin has been understated by more than .8%.  Fox News indicates that Bill O'Reilly will be interviewing Jack Diemar in a four part interview promising the answers to some long unanswered questions.